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: Athena, 7th of November, PH .
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recent update :
Out of Place.
written on @ Wednesday, January 23, 2013 ✈

I just want to spill it out! :(((((((( 

Just woken up, and I think the time was 4am.
I was bothered, by what had happened last Sunday.
Last Sunday, I was on my bf  house in Lumban, Laguna.
He invited me there because on Sunday they're going have a  fiesta.

We arrived at their house at 7pm, Saturday and it was frickin cold, I want to wear those boots I  really want to buy. Anyway, so I saw his tita  wrapping Lumpia.

Sunday

First we went to the Christening of the son of my boyfriend's friend.
At first, it was nice..I don't feel awkward ( because the whole town  knew each other so much, they're like so much related, biogenetically  ).
So I feel so much Out of Place!(OP) after an hour, he started talking to his cousin ( which was his dorm mate before ). So he was so busy talking to his cousin, for almost an hour & a half while i'm feeling awkward and out of place that time.At first I don't mind it at all, I'm just pretending I was texting someone just to entertain myself, how awful was that!?. I'm waiting for him to talk to me, but I was ignored -_-)
Looks like he's not concerned for me at all, he don't even bothered to ask me if I am okay, & it looks like Roilan ( his cousin ) was his girlfriend & not me, I feel so alone that time. I'm not a kind of person who's going to start s conversation, I'm really some what an introvert. I even took a group picture of them, yet they don't bother to ask me to join the group picture! Arrrgghh, It was really an awful feeling.

After, the Christening  I tried to keep calm and carry on hehehe, so we headed to his friend house, I mean the one who have christenized baby. We need to eat there, because it's almost 1:00 PM. Because of what happened, I loss my appetite. While I was eating my boyfriend, was still chatting to cousin! he even tun his back from me..T~T that time I want to cry,I just tying not to because we're at the fiesta, he was so INSENSITIVE, like before..that's one of the reason why we broke up before, now he's doing it again( but then he said sorry & will never do it again.



So after their conversation! with his suplado cousin, He saw my existence after 4 hours :) How great was that.... T~T
and asked me "ano?uwi na tayo? :) (what now? are we going to go home? :) ) "
& I said "Ikaw. kaw lang naman may kausap dyan. (What ever you like, you're the one who's talking to someone. >:| "

So while we are at the Tricycle, I started to pout.
While inside their house, I told him that
"You're fiesta here was like on ate Emily's town, but I didn't come, because I think i'll going to be Out of Place"
then he said,
"No,  she will never do that..because she's the one who invited you, she's responsible for your entertainment"
then I said.
"Really? Why you didn't do that to me?...It started from the church for 1 & a half hour, i'm waiting for you to talk to me"

and so my feelings burst out,

But I can see that's he's really sorry. I almost saw his teary eyes.
but then, I think I need to accept that he's sometimes insensitive.
I just can't forget the feelings he made to me that time, He is my bf and he's the one who should not make me to feel so alone, and yet....*sighs* -_-
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About some of his cousins, I don't know If i'm just over reacting but they treat me like an Other people.
Maybe because Rj, never told them about me, I mean they know i'm his girlfriend but he never told them about me, or some stories about me etc., In short, they don't know anything about me.

They are like suplado and suplada, (Snobs)
o they are just shy to approach me...but why! I feel not so welcome on what they're showing to me. Unlike Rj, whenever he's here my lola always shows how welcome he is. My dad even cook for him, and some of my relatives asking me about him.
But I don't know if some of his relatives ask the same thing, I think not, maybe..only his tita garcia.

*Yun lang nkakawalang gana, minsan.....
Sana minsan maramdaman ko naman welcome ako... maliban sa mommy at tita nya, sa mga cousins nya din sana.. 


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